Intrusive thoughts can be surprising, confusing, and seem like they can come out of nowhere. They can feel overwhelming and even frightening, and are pretty much always UNWANTED.
If you’ve ever thought:
- “Why am I thinking this?”
- “Why won’t these thoughts go away?”
- “What if this means something about me?”
- “How do I make this stop?”
You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts, but for people with anxiety or OCD the brain takes them to a different level.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts in OCD and Anxiety?
While every person has intrusive thoughts at times, what sets intrusive thoughts apart in OCD and anxiety is the persistence, repetition, urgency, and intensity that surrounds a thought.
They can show up in many different ways – as many ways as there are people. They tend to fall into a few different categories, and they can overlap in these categories. They can show up as:
- Doubts (“What if I did something wrong?”, “Did I really lock the door before I left?”)
- Fear of harming yourself or others (“What if I want to kill myself?”, “What if I lose control and use this knife to stab my kid?”)
- Thoughts that go against your values or have strict rules about your values (“What if I said that to my boss because I am trying to get my colleague fired, and I am a malicious person?”, “If I don’t pick up that litter I am a careless and destructive person”)
- Violent or disturbing images
(Gentle reminder: Having a thought does NOT mean you want it or will act on it.) The examples given are common, but are not even the tip of the iceberg for how intrusive thoughts can present in OCD and anxiety.
Intrusive thoughts can range from obvious to very subtle. Some people can immediately identify that their thoughts are intrusive due to their glaringly strange or disturbing nature. Others dismiss their intrusive thoughts because they read the list of common descriptions and think, “Well my thoughts aren’t disturbing enough”, or “My thoughts aren’t violent, so my thoughts must not count as intrusive”, but continue to suffer in their everyday undercurrent of thought.
Why They Feel So Real
Intrusive thoughts stick because:
- Your brain flags them as important. In fact, they’re often rooted in something real and something that is actually important to you: a real love, a real fear, a logical concept.
- You try to push them away. It can be unbearable to live through the thoughts, and you’ll do anything to get rid of them. The more you resist them, the stronger they come back. This is not because you secretly want them to happen. This is a psychological response, and OCD amplifies this natural process.
- They feel true. Many times we can get caught in believing that the intrusive thought is true. When this is the case, people with anxiety or OCD will try to analyze and “solve” the problem, when really the issue they are trying to solve is not always the true problem. Either that, or the compulsive way they are going about solving the problem is doing more harm than good.
- There is a grain of truth that your anxiety latches on to. Any doubt or question that any part of the intrusive thought is true or possible can keep the cycle going.
This creates a loop:
Thought → Anxiety → Trying to stop it/solve it → More thoughts.
When we engage the intrusive thought, it reinforces to our brain that the urgency around it is warranted, and we should spend even more energy on it.
The thing about intrusive thoughts is that they LOVE attention. ANY attention. When you try to suppress, reassure, avoid, explain, justify, fight, eradicate, make room for, etc. an intrusive thought…it loves the attention. Any engagement with it will feed it and keep it alive. So what can actually tackle intrusive thoughts instead of ending up in a never-ending game of whack-a-mole?
The good news- it IS possible, and you DO deserve to be free of them. It takes skills and practice to disengage from these thoughts, which I will review in another post, but you absolutely can be free from the grip of your intrusive thoughts.
OCD & Anxiety Therapy in Utah
If you’re in Salt Lake City or anywhere in Utah, I offer:
• In-person therapy in the Salt Lake Valley
• Online therapy throughout Utah
You don’t have to manage this alone.
Final Thought
Intrusive thoughts are more common than people realize.
They don’t define you—and with the right support, they can become much more manageable.