If you’ve ever had a thought that made you question your character, something that felt disturbing, confusing, or completely unlike you, you’re not alone. Most people have questions about what it means to be a good person, or what is the most moral or ethical thing to do in a situation.
For some people, these thoughts don’t pass. They stick. They replay. They create intense anxiety and doubt. Even when others reassure them or reasons are given that what they are doing is ok, the doubt comes back.
This experience is often connected to something called Moral OCD, a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder that centers around fears of being a “bad” or immoral person.
What is Moral OCD?
Moral OCD involves intrusive thoughts related to right and wrong, ethics, or personal values. This can also include spiritual and religious beliefs. These thoughts can feel incredibly real and convincing, even when they don’t reflect who you actually are.
Common themes include:
- “What if I’m secretly a bad person?”
- “What if I did something wrong and didn’t realize it?”
- “What if my thoughts mean something about me?”
- “What if I’m a bad person and someone finds out?”
It can sound like:
- “If I don’t do X hours of volunteer work I must be a bad person.”
- “If I don’t constantly check the news, it must mean I don’t care about the world.”
- “I accidentally left my garbage on that bench – I don’t care about the environment.”
- “If I were a good person I would have remembered/made time/known/figured out _________.”
Why It Feels So Real
One of the hardest parts of Moral OCD is how believable the thoughts feel. A few reasons that can happen are because:
- Anxiety makes everything feel urgent and important. One of OCD’s tricks is using intensity to convince you of truth.
- OCD uses real worries and reasoning. You actually do care about being a good person! OCD likes to take that genuine care and warp it into an obsession. Alternately, you also make mistakes (because you’re a human) and OCD likes to warp that as well.
- OCD uses real beliefs. Similar to the above, it often hooks into real spiritual and values-based beliefs and creates confusion about what’s most true.
Important note: Having a thought does NOT mean you agree with it or want it. In fact, the distress you feel is often a sign of how much you value being a good person.
What Helps?
Recovery doesn’t come from trying to “figure out” the thoughts or prove them wrong.
Instead, it often involves:
- Understanding the nature of OCD and the ways it tells you you’re bad
- Learning to see those messages for what they are – OCD’s faulty reasoning
- Reducing compulsive checking or reassurance
- Practicing mental distance from your thoughts
If you’re struggling with moral- or values-based intrusive thoughts or anxiety, you’re not broken and you’re definitely not alone.
Therapy can help you learn how to respond differently to these thoughts so they lose their power over time.
You can learn to:
- Trust more that you are living in accordance with your values
- Recognize the looping patterns when they show up
- Differentiate between what is OCD and what is really you
Therapy for Salt Lake Valley and Utah
I offer in-office appointments in Murray, UT and virtual appointments to all Utah residents. If you’re struggling, reach out for a free 15-min consult HERE. We can briefly discuss your experience, your struggles, and help you feel more comfortable with deciding if therapy would be a good next step.
If you’re interested in learning more about intrusive thoughts and strategies to help, check out my other blog posts-